Secrets
by mioneshipper
Summary: AU.Hermione has been finished school for two years now. Sirius Black, on realising he held feelings for the girl in her seventh year, suffers in silence. But Hermione has a secret of her own. Warning: Abusive content.
1. Chapter 1

**The Burrow.**

Sirius Black was sitting in a large comfortable sofa at the Burrow. It was Harry's 20th birthday and Sirius was enjoying an amusing chat with Remus and Tonks when Hermione entered. Sirius gazed up at her, her beauty momentarily stunning him. Hermiones mid-length hazel hair was perched on her shoulders and she was wearing a navy blue dress, its length ending just at her knee, accompanied by matching wedges. Her dazzling brown eyes glowing as she walked over to his godson and gave him a hug.

"Happy Birthday Harry!" she smiled and pulled away.

"Thanks Hermione!" Harry chimed back, giving her a large smile.

"Did you get my gift?"

"Yeah I did, I loved it." Harry grinned up at her.

Hermione smiled widely back and sat in the chair to his left. Her eyes glanced around the room at everyone and landed on Sirius when she saw him looking at her. Hermione gave him a warm smile and then looked back at Harry. Sirius shifted slightly in his seat and also averted his gaze back to Remus and Tonks who had returned to their conversation. He knew Hermione thought he was too old; he was a sort of father figure to her. That was all. If anything he was just a disgusting old man. The pain of this knowledge was quite strong but Sirius sat, and tried to continue conversing with his friends. Molly Weasley entered the sitting room not very long after and announced dinner was ready. Everyone made their way outside where tables were set along side each other enabling everyone to dine together.

Candles were hovering above the tables as if they were back in Hogwarts; the sight was quite pretty in the darkening sky. Sirius took a seat next to Ginny, who had Harry on her right, and Hermione came and sat opposite Sirius, next to Lupin and Mr. Weasley. Dinner was served and everyone was soon immersed in pleasant conversation, Sirius included. His attention was averted however when Ginny called across the table to Hermione.

"Hermione, I haven't talked to you in a while now, are you still dating Michael?"

Sirius continued to stare intently at Arthur Weasley, trying to be attentive, but listened in to the conversation next to him.

"No, that didn't really work out. In fact I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks. Someone from worked asked me out for dinner the other night though."

"Oh and did you accept?" Ginny pressed on, Sirius could hear excitement in Ginnys voice.

"Heh well yes I did actually."

Sirius blinked, willing away the slash he felt inside his chest. He swallowed, and shifted in his seat. Remus noticed this sudden discomfort in Sirius and looked over to him. Sirius simply smiled and looked back to Mr. Weasley. Remus continued to gaze at his best friend and sighed. He could see the pain in his eyes. What was causing it was unreadable.

Hermione sat across from Sirius, and as she spoke to Ginny she looked over to him. He was sitting in his seat, his eyes on Mr. Weasley. She frowned slightly at the man, while Ginny and Harry shared a small kiss. He was quite good looking, Sirius. Hermione smiled slightly and gazed back to her plate. She didn't want Sirius, not in that way. She just wouldn't mind him holding her, his strong arms around her. Maybe his bare chest too. _Only lust_ she told herself. Michael was handsome, sure. But she didn't feel the same lust for him as she did for Sirius. _Well it isn't like Michael is that much of a boyfriend anyway _she thought_. _Hermione shook her head lightly to herself before Ginnys friendly voice woke her from her thoughts.

"Hermione, I haven't talked to you in a while now, are you still dating Michael?"

Hermione stared blankly only for a moment at Ginny before placing the mask of a smile she was so used to on her face and replying.

"No, that didn't really work out. In fact I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks. Someone from work asked me out for dinner the other night though."

"Oh and did you accept?" Ginny pressed on.

Hermione smiled, more to herself then to Ginny.

"Heh well yes I did actually."

Hermione squirmed slightly in her seat, finishing her meal. She hated to do this to her friends. But they couldn't know, no one could. For the rest of the evening Hermione kept her mask, laughing and singing Harry a Happy Birthday with everyone who loved him. She looked at Ginny and the love in her eyes towards Harry was amazing. Hermione almost shed a tear, which Harry noticed, but Hermione just grinned at him.

"Happy tears." she mouthed.

She didn't want him to know she was upset, not now on his birthday. Not that he would ever know really.

**That Night.**

Sirius was sitting on the edge of his four-poster bed. One hand was clutched on a half empty bottle of Firewhiskey, the other holding onto the foot of the bed. Sirius stared drowsily out the second-floor window at the woman approaching his home. Sirius let go of the end of the bed and dropped his body to lie flat against his covers. When Sirius heard the knock on his door, he raised his wand, opening his window and called out into the evening.

"Come in!"

The front door opened. Sirius contemplated standing for a second, and taking a deep breath he tried to get up, failing miserably. As he stumbled, tripping on the bottom of his trousers, and landed against the cupboard, the woman was coming upstairs. Sirius crawled over to his bedside table and was slowly pulling himself up, landing on his bed once again, the bottle of firewhiskey still in hand.

"Bloody fucking legs." he muttered.

The door opened and the tall woman walked in. She had long dark hair and had a pretty face but had a bit too much make up on. She looked down at Sirius, no smile or sense of happiness at being in his home.

"You called?"

Sirius nodded, not looking directly at her. She started to unbutton her trench coat, kicking off her shoes and when it fell off her shoulders and landed on the floor, she was covered in nothing but black see-through lingerie. Sirius looked up at her, a small feeling of hunger ignited inside him. He wished it wasn't this woman who was standing half naked in front of him, but the woman he wanted would never love him. He would never hold her in his arms, or make love to her, not that what he was going to do with this woman could be counted as 'making love'. She walked over to where he sat and pushed him back onto the bed, straddling him. He closed his eyes and thought of Hermione as the woman stroked his chest. It wouldn't be a long night, but he didn't want to be alone.

When Hermione had initially entered her small flat, after the party, Michael wasn't around. Hermione was glad he wasn't, she wanted to relish in the well-spent time she had with her close friends. She plonked down onto the couch and lay her head on the armrest, lying her feet out before her. She closed her eyes and went through the night step by step. She thought of how she liked what she wore, stroking her hands down the soft dress while she did. She thought of Harrys giant smiles throughout the night, the especially large ones held for Ginny. She thought of how much she really had missed the Weasleys, Mr and Mrs. Weasley the friendliest people she knew. Then there were the twins and their jokes and Ron and Ginnys friendship. She had always loved the Weasleys. She'd missed them alot, along with Harry. When Hermione smiled at the feeling of love of the people she had spent the night with building inside her, her front door opened. Hermione sighed and opened her eyes to see Michael standing at the end of the hallway, leaning on the doorframe and staring at her.

"Well how was your prissy little gathering then?"

Hermione blinked softly, she stared at him blankly and gave him a small shrug. Michael smiled and made his way over to her. He sat on the end of the couch and Hermione immediately pulled her legs against her body, giving him room to sit.

"How are all your stuck up friends hmm?" he asked in a sarcastic sneer.

"They – they're not that bad." she whispered.

Michael frowned and moved his face right up to hers.

"Better than me are they?"

Hermione didn't dare look directly at him and didn't reply. Michael eventually stood again and grabbed her wrist roughly pulling her up. He stared deep into her eyes for a moment before slapping her hard across the face. Hermione said or did nothing.

"You think I'm nothing compared to them don't you?" he whispered angrily.

A small tear was building in her eye and Hermione prayed for it not to fall, but before she could pray any harder it had slid down her cheek. Hermione let out a sharp gasp before what she had expected hit her. A harder slap collided with her face and Hermione cringed away from Michael as much as she could, but now both his hands were gripped tightly around her wrists. Hermione held back he sobs that was trying to spill from her body. She couldn't let him see her crying.

"You ungrateful cow, you stand there crying, but no one else would give you an inch of the respect I give you."

Hermione gulped hard and Michael walked forward, pushing her ahead, backwards, in front of him. Her back hit the kitchen counter hard before he threw her down onto the hard tiles and the cupboards.

"Your such a disgrace you know that!" he yelled before swivelling and walking away.

"Don't dare move." He called back to her as he left for the bedroom.

"I'll see you in the morning." And with a slam of the door, he was gone.

Hermione moved into the corner of the cabinets and slowly curled into the foetal position against the wood and cold tile. Hard sobs escaping from her chest in heaves.

Her body ached all over and she was shivering from the cold in her blue dress. Hermione couldn't control herself as more and more sobs left her body, she couldn't breath and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself in.

She wanted so much to be with her friends again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for your reviews of the first chapter. Sorry this one is pretty shitty but I guarantee the next chapter will be more promising. This one is just Sirius gets a small bit suspicious and spills all to his cousin. Anyway hope you enjoy and also please review and give me any ideas of what could/should happen in your opinion. I do have some ideas up my sleeve! Thank you!**

Once Michael had left the house to go wherever he went during his days spent away, Hermione apparated from her small flat and landed on the hard pavement outside a row of houses. She really didn't want to be alone and after having the luck to be with her friends for a night, she decided she would like to see them more often. It would let her escape from her personal hell that was her flat. Hermione stared at the large house directly in front of her. Last night Harry had said that he and Ginny would be spending some time at Sirius' and so that was where Hermione had appeared. It was around four in the afternoon. Hermione had had to make sure Michael was gone and that she looked half reasonable, seeing as she hadn't slept, which took some time. Hermione advanced across the road and knocked on the large black door.

Sirius was lying in bed fast asleep when a knock on the door woke him. He rolled over in bed and felt a sharp aching fill his head. Sirius groaned loudly and raised a palm to his forehead, brushing back the hair from his face. _Who in gods name is knocking so early? _Sirius sighed and slowly rose from his bed, feeling nauseous and shuffled over to the window. He squinted his eyes peering down onto the footpath directly below and he saw a small figure with somewhat bushy hair standing in front of his home. It couldn't be. _No, it isn't_ he assured himself. But all the same Sirius opened the window and called down.

"I'm coming!"

Without another look down he picked up a t-shirt and shuffled out of his room and down the stairs. He opened the front door and winced when the sharp light hit his eyes. When everything came back into focus he noticed Hermione standing on his front step. Sirius blinked.

"Hermione?"

"Uhm..Yes." she replied with a slight smile.

Hermione was glad to see Sirius and even slightly amused at the fact he was wearing nothing but underwear and a t-shirt. But disappointment also set in; if Harry and Ginny had in fact been here visiting he wouldn't likely be dressed as such.

"Harry told me that he was going to come and visit today with Ginny…I thought I'd come say hi as well."

Sirius stomach dropped in realisation. Hermione hadn't come to visit him; she'd come to see her friends. Knowing she would soon be gone he sighed.

"I'm afraid Harry couldn't make it, can't remember why exactly." Sirius smiled gently, an emotional aching filling his body. Hermione nodded and looked away.

"I guess I'll head off then." she muttered absent mindedly.

Sirius felt a strong urge flow through him. He really didn't want her to go.

"Stay." he blurted out.

Hermione spun her head to look at him.

"I mean, stay for some tea or something. Breakfast maybe?"

"Sirius its four o clock." Hermione smiled and Sirius looked taken aback.

"Really…how about dinner? We could go to Harrys? I'm meant to be heading over anyway because he couldn't make it today." Sirius worked to keep the pleading from his voice and conjured a charming smile.

Hermione looked sceptical and then faced away once again, staring unseeingly down the street. Sirius waited patiently, hoping she would stay. Hermione looked back to him and smiled.

"Okay, dinner it is." she said with a warm smile.

Sirius filed with bliss but was suddenly aware of the fact that he was barely dressed.

"Why don't you come in for a moment and I will run upstairs and get dressed."

Sirius opened the door wide and let her in, closing it gently behind her.

"I'll just be a second, make yourself comfortable."

Hermione waited taking in the small hallway before entering the cosy sitting room. It was large enough and surprisingly Hermione quite liked it. She was used to Sirius home at Grimmauld Place, even though he hadn't stayed there very long. Sirius' new home was much more homely and welcoming than the dark dusty home he used to abide. Hermione was glad Sirius was living here now. It seemed so lonely at Grimmauld. She peered around the large room and eventually walked over to a small mantelpiece, above the fireplace, placed on top of it were a few picture frames, some old and some new, familiar faces smiling back at her.

First were pictures of Harry and Sirius and pictures of certain events at the Burrow, along with some old pictures of Sirius and Remus with James and Lily. But it was the last picture that intrigued Hermione the most. It was a simple picture of just James and Lily half laughing and staring into each others eyes. Hermione lifted the frame off of the mantelpiece and stared down at the two lovers. She knew that's what love was meant to look like.

Sirius headed into the sitting room dressed and ready to find Hermione gazing intently at the contents of a small picture frame. James and Lily were moving about inside. Sirius moved over next to Hermione and took in their faces.

"They were totally in love weren't they?" Hermione asked in awe.

Sirius sighed and smiled, a glint of sentiment in his eyes.

"You have no idea."

Sirius averted his gaze to Hermione and sent another charming smile her way.

"Ready?"

Hermione nodded placing the picture back into its place before returning to Sirius. He had always found Hermione extremely pretty but in the half darkness of the sitting room he noticed something that in his earlier daze, he hadn't seen. Underneath one of Hermiones eyes was a small pinkish purple bruise. There were also dominating bags under her eyes, making her usually glowing eyes seem faded. Sirius reflected against this for a moment. He didn't know in what situation lack of sleep and a bruise were at all good news. He knew it wasn't his place to ask her but he couldn't hesitate in wondering.

He held out his arm for her to take and as she took it tightly a warm wave of butterflies flew up his body. Clearing his throat to keep his emotions at bay, Sirius concentrated and then with a loud crack they were gone.

Ginny and Harry greeted them both with warm welcome and sat them down at their kitchen table. Hermione explained why she was accompanying Sirius and that she would have to leave before half six to be told by both Harry and Ginny that she was more than welcome to be there and not to worry. Hermione enjoyed dinner with the three of them. They all seemed to radiate happiness and joy to her. She could feel it rubbing off on her, making her half forget, that this was only part of her life. She was in a different universe here, where nothing seemed too bad to handle. Once dinner was and all reminiscing was finished, Hermione insisted she go home to catch up on some work. She needed to get home before Michael. After convincing each of them she had to be going she eventually walked into the night and left with a crack.

Hermione popped into the small kitchen of her flat and after sighing with relief that Michael had not returned home before her, there was a jingling of keys and a click in the door. Michael walked in with a wave of his wand, the door closing shut behind him.

As he half strutted into the kitchen making his way towards the living room, Hermione could hear him muttering something alng the lines of "Bloody muggles making me use keys."

"Hi." Hermione whispered.

"Hi." Michael walked past her and sat on the couch before casting a gaze at her and after a long moment of deep thought, patted the couch next to him, offering her a seat. Hermione ambled over to him and sat an inch or two away. Michael lifted his arm and wrapped it around her waist, gently pulling her in to his side.

He bent down and kissed her head and Hermione closed her eyes. Tonight she would get some sleep, in her bed, most likely with Michael. There were often nights when he was calm and somewhat remorseful and these werethe nights she slept. He lifted her head to look him in the eyes and kissed her lips softly. Hermione barely kissed him back and once he had pulled away she told him she was going to bed. Michael didn't speak, he simply lifted his arm to the back of the couch and watched her leave, letting Hermione go to bed in peace while he stayed up for a couple of hours longer.

Hermione wanted to cry for her life, her domestic situation, but she was too exhausted emotionally and physically to lie in bed sobbing. When she rested her head on her pillow, sleep was not far behind her.

When Michael did eventually get into bed, Hermione was fast asleep. He lifted the duvet to get in and looked at her peaceful body, her top was raised and along her back he could see dark bruises reflected against her pale skin. He crawled in and didn't touch her but lay soundly next to her. He closed his eyes, he wasn't really bad. He just lost his temper sometimes.

Sirius apparated into his downstairs hallway. The lights were still on and he noticed Tonks, sitting at his kitchen table drinking a cup of tea.

"Ah Sirius, I came to say hi but you weren't around so I thought I'd wait awhile."

"That's fine Tonks. How are you?"

"Oh I'm doing good." Tonks smiled before frowning, noticing Sirius' drawn out expression.

"Everything alright?"

"Yes why wouldn't it be?" Sirius sat in the chair across from Tonks a barely neutral look on his face.

"Just seem a bit down is all."

Sirius gazed up into her eyes, his reflecting a sea of emotions. She knew something was burning him up inside.

"Sirius, tell me what's wrong." She soothed comfortingly.

"Tonks you won't look at me the same." Sirius shook his head.

"Try me."

Sirius hesitated a long moment before hesitantly speaking.

"I – I'm – " Sirius tried to read Tonks' face, hoping to catch a glimpse of her future reaction but of course he couldn't.

He took a deep breath.

"I'm in love Tonks."

Tonks smiled widely.

"Aw Sirius!" but soon her expression turned stern. "But with who? And why is it making you so upset?"

"Because…she's younger than me and would never love me back. She's the most beautiful person I have ever met, but she will never be mine Tonks."

Tonks looked at Sirius intensely for a moment.

"But how do you know she wouldn't return your emotions? Who is it Sirius?"

Sirius gulped and his face was washed of all emotion except for fear of being unaccepted when he whispered

"Hermione."

Tonks sat slightly wide-eyed for a moment, stunned to her chair. Sirius felt frustrated and frowned leaning back in his chair and raising his arms.

"I told you it's just no – "

"Sirius you need to tell her!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and walked away from the kitchen table.

"I'm telling you! You have to Sirius!

"I will not tell her Tonks! She doesn't need her life to be complicated by her best friends godfather telling he loves her just so she can be repulsed and refuse!"

"But Sirius – "

"No Tonks! End of discussion, I will see you soon." Sirius barked through his teeth.

Sirius turned and stormed out of the kitchen, flicking his wand and turning off all the lights. He took to the stairs, two steps at a time and when Tonks heard a door slam and sudden silence filled the house she was gone.

Tonks arrived in her own home, walking from the upstairs hallway into the spacous bedroom her and Remus Lupin shared. He was sitting in the large bed reading, a small lamp placed next to him. He looked up at her arrival and frowned at her frustrated and concerned look.

"What's wrong?" Remus placed the book open and face down onto his lap.

"It's Sirius." Tonks sighed and plonked herself onto the bed and shuffled next to him.

Tonks re-told the event of her small visit to Sirius' home and how he had reacted when she had told him to just tell the truth.

"Well he must be scared. Of course he is Tonks, you have to see that. He is afraid he will be rejected and it will forever haunt him in future meetings with the young woman. Creating more pain than he seems to be suffering from." Remus said, his arm now wrapped around her, her head rested on his chest.

"I know." she whispered.

Remus and Tonks didn't talk about Sirius' situation anymore that night. Neither knew what they could do for their dear friend and cousin. They wanted to ease his pain. Hermione was younger yes but might she return Sirius' feelings? No one knew.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks again for all your reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I really loved writing it. Please tell me what you think! The next chapter might be up later today.

Hermione woke next to a sleeping Michael. In his unconscious state he seemed innocent, a shadow of the person she had hoped he would be. His short dark brown hair, contrasting with his light skin, looked handsome and charming. But Michael was much more complex than that. Hermione knew she half loved Michael; she wanted to slide over and cuddle into his chest, to genuinely kiss him. But she knew it wouldn't be like that. Not after everything that had happened between them. She watched Michael sleep peacefully but it was only a matter of time before he woke.

Michael saw Hermione lying in front of him, her eyes intently watching him as he woke. Amused at the sight he lifted his arm, pulling her close to him. He pressed his lips hard against hers and pressed his body against her. Hermione kissed Michael back, he was kissing her intensely but Hermione didn't feel passion emanating from him. She knew he was simply using her.

She didn't fight against him, she lay where he wanted and continued to let him use her as he occasionally did. She did not move a muscle as he slowly turned her to lie on her back, muttering a contraceptive charm and straddling her. She didn't aid him or struggle against him when he removed her pyjamas and knickers. He continued to kiss her with the same hardness and Hermione barely moved her lips in response. When he soon slipped inside her, Hermione did not moan in enjoyment or gently caress him. She closed her eyes and waited for it to be over. Hermione had lost her virginity to Michael, she was 18 and they weren't in a relationship at the time. She had thought him to be just a simple stand up boy. This year they had got together and after a few weeks of gradually building frustration and anger on Michaels part he had finally taken his second chance at Hermione, taking her by force.

Michael had started off softer but as he gathered speed he became more and more violent in his movements. Hermione scrunched up her face, to him it may have seemed a reflection of pleasure but really she was trying to hide the pain. Thinking that Hermione was enjoying his violent actions he moved harder and harder against her causing her more pain. Soon he was lost in the moment, gripping her shoulders, almost crushing her. Hermione let out a small moans when the pain was too much to keep in. He moved faster, each time he groaned in pleasure she felt her body twitch slightly. She let out a small wail when he was finally finished. He looked down at her face and could se she was close to tears. She had the same feeling each time he used her like this. She wanted to shower over and over just to rid herself of him. Her body ached and she felt dirty as he pulled away from her but that wasn't what she was worried about.

Michael looked at Hermione with a mix of bemusement and concern.

"Why are you crying?" his voice was plain and dead.

"I'm not crying." Hermione frowned and tried to look confused, hoping to convince him.

Michael stared into her eyes, the same look of concern lingering on his face.

"Mhmm sure." Michaels sarcastic tone sent a subtle shiver up Hermiones back.

She was shaking somewhat, holding back the tears. He could see the slight fear in her eyes and feel it in the air. Hermione's voice broke slightly as she tried to explain.

"Michael I'm not crying I'm just – "

"Yeah okay." Michael's tone had grown bitterer and even held a tinge of pain, as he turned, leaving the bed. Hermione did not speak, waiting for what his reaction would be this time. He ambled over to the dresser and pulled out some clean underwear, pulled on the black jeans that lay on the floor and slid a shirt over his head. He turned to look at Hermione, hitting her with a look of deep spitefulness.

"I might come back later, you never know."

Michael twisted around and exited through the door, closing it loudly behind him.

Hermione waited until she heard a loud crack coming from beyond the door before she sank back into bed.

She shuddered at her morning experience and even though she couldn't help it, it sent a wave of guilt through her. She felt guilty for feeling dirty every time Michael had wanted to sleep with her. Hermione and Michael had had sex a few times since they had started dating but all were usually initiated after he had beaten her or in fear of him beating her, in both his drunken and non drunken forms. She knew it was because her past experiences she reacted this way, but at the same time she thought_ it wasn't his fault_. Hermione didn't know what to feel, it overwhelmed her and finally the tears she had held back spilled out in small sobs. Hermione rested her head on her knees; her tears sliding down her legs.

Hermione knew what she had with Michael wasn't a fairytale, maybe far from it but she just couldn't bring herself to leave him. First of all to even try could cause Michael to rebound, secondly there was a section of her that loved him and wanted to be with him. Finally, she was so afraid that no one would ever love her even a fraction of the amount Michael did. She knew she was nothing.

Hermione was aching and eagerly craved comforting surroundings. She stood and threw on her pyjamas. But her emotions got the better of her because without even realising it she had suddenly apparated and was standing in front of a large black door. Hermione knocked, realising as she heard Sirius walking towards the door, that she was barely dressed. But she really didn't care at the moment.

Sirius opened the door to a red-eyed Hermione, tears streaming down her face. She was running her hands down her arms to keep warm.

"Hermione, what's wrong?"

Sirius was instantly standing before her, his comforting hands on her shoulders. Hermione started to sob heavily and Sirius led her in, sitting her onto the couch. Hermione still felt dirty and embarrassed, but she needed someone, someone to hold her. Sirius' hand was placed on her shoulder and it felt like a delicious fire on her skin. She wanted to wrap herself inside his strong arms and embrace the comfort and care from another human being. To feel something so natural would be foreign to Hermione. No one was ever there to be her hero when Michael was at bay.

She curled her legs up onto the couch and hugged them. She was trying to hold herself in rather than shame herself even more by gripping Sirius. But she had merely wrapped her arms around her knees when Sirius indulged her with what she wanted most. Wrapping two arms around her in a tight and gentle grip, he softly caressed her side as she sobbed harder into his chest. Sirius rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Hermione you have to tell me what's wrong."

Hermione curled into Sirius' chest, ignoring his questioning. She just wanted him to cover her up and never release her from his embrace.

'_Please'_ she begged inwardly. _'Please just hold me. I need you to hold me. I'm going to fall apart.'_

Sirius could feel Hermione grip him tighter and she didn't say anything. He didn't speak, he simply held her to him deep in thought. Her sobs had gotten smaller and smaller and when Sirius lifted his chin to look down at her, she was staring absentmindedly ahead of her.

"Hermione – " Sirius made another attempt to coax an answer from her. "What's going on?"

Hermione blinked, her eyes half open and looking solemn. But still she did not answer him. Sirius couldn't stand not knowing what was causing her to be so distressed. Sirius' eyes wandered around the room, trying to figure out what to do. He didn't know what to say, he was holding the person he loved most in her time of need and he didn't know what to say or do. He was desperate.

"Sirius, I think I'd like a nap." Hermione's voice was small but rang inside Sirius' mind snapping him back to the present.

"Of course, you can sleep in the guest room. I'll show you." Sirius stood a hand outstretched, ready to lead the way but Hermione batted a hand as she stood.

"It's okay Sirius. I'll go on my own."

Sirius hesitated as Hermione walked from the room but after a moment of contemplation he sat. He wanted to go with her but if she wanted to be alone that was the first priority. He heard the click of the bedroom door closing upstairs and sighed. The fact that she wouldn't tell him what was wrong scared Sirius and he felt a pit in his stomach. He needed to talk to someone, to know what to do.

Remus Lupin was sitting on his large brown sofa, reading the Daily Prophet when he heard his wife's scream from the kitchen followed by the clattering of pots and pans.

"Sirius! You scared me!"

"Sorry Tonks, I didn't mean to barge in."

Remus rose from his seat, wandering into the kitchen. Sirius' arm was outstretched, his wand pointed at an array of pots making their way back to the cupboards. Tonks was assisting with the other collection of fallen kitchenware. Both had their backs to Remus, neither had acknowledged his presence.

"Sorry again Tonks. I just needed to talk you and Remus." Lupin could hear the solemn tone in Sirius' voice.

"About what?" Tonks asked inquisitively.

Sirius turned to her, loosing his concentration yet not caring about the pans now clattering into a new heap on the floor. His face was forlorn and as Tonks lifted her heap of pots safely into the cupboard, he broke.

"It's Hermione. She arrived at my house around twenty minutes ago crying and in her pyjamas. I comforted her for a while but she wouldn't tell me what was wrong and then she just went for a nap." Sirius waited, looking hopeful at his friend.

Not Remus or Tonks had heard Sirius so apprehensive.

"Did she say anything else Sirius?"

Remus piped in, causing his wife and good friend to jump at his sudden existence. But Sirius wasn't fazed for long. He gazed at his friend a lingering expression of desperation.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing."

Tonks rested a warm hand on Sirius shoulder.

"Lets go and talk to her, she might open up for me. But lets leave her sleep for now. Cup of tea Sirius?"

"Yes thank you Tonks, but I think I'd have a bit more piece of mind if we had it at my house."

Hermione woke feeling worse than she had before she left her apartment. Why did she have to come and run to Sirius? Hermione's stomach squirmed as embarrassment set in. She sat up, leaning against the headboard not quite sure what to do next. She thought she could just apparate home from the guestroom and just avoid Sirius for a while but that was the cowards choice. Plus she didn't want to hurt his feelings. Hermione took a deep breath, rising to her feet.

As she took the last step down onto the hard wooden floor of the hallway she heard voices from the kitchen. She stood and listened barely able to hear what they were saying.

"Tonks I am not going to say anything."

"Sirius you have to – "

"Stop it Tonks." Sirius growled.

Hermione gulped, she knew Tonks was most likely trying to get Sirius to talk to her about earlier. She turned and headed towards the room to see Tonks and Lupin sitting with Sirius at the kitchen table. Hermione closed her eyes and scrunched up her face, _you can do this_, she thought. She took a step into the kitchen, all three faces turning to look at her.

"Hi Hermione." Tonks' voice was calming and her smile was warm.

Hermione smiled back and turned to Sirius.

"Sirius – can I – can I talk to you for a second."

Sirius nodded seriously and walked into the hallway with her, closing the kitchen door behind him.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I don't know what got into me." explained Hermione, shaking her head.

Sirius looked at her, pained that she wouldn't open up.

"Hermione you know you can talk to me."

Hermione smiled slightly and Sirius waited hopefully for her to explain. The kitchen door opened and Tonks walked into the hallway.

"Uhm Hermione, I know you just wanted to talk to Sirius but he told me what happened. If you want you can tell me." Tonks looked from Sirius to Hermione and gave her another warm smile.

Hermione looked at each of them in turn and then took a deep breath, preparing to lie to people who cared.

"It's nothing really. Both of you don't need to worry, It's just my boyfriend, he – " Hermione paused taking in their intensely interested faces. " – we had a fight."

For a moment no one said anything. Sirius felt something stabbing his chest. She was crying for someone else, she loved someone else. Remus had to step in to break the growing silence.

"Well I'm glad it was nothing too serious. Are you sure you're all right? If you like you could sleep over at our house, we wouldn't mind." Lupin wrapped an arm around Tonks shoulder. Hermione shook her head and stared at the floor.

"No really I'm fine, I better go back to my apartment and talk to him."

Remus peered at Sirius from the corner of his eyes and saw he had been knocked by Hermiones words. But Remus didn't believe what she said as much as his good friend did and neither did Tonks.

Hermione looked up at all three of them her glance ending on Sirius.

"I'm sorry again.."

Sirius tried to smile, half grimacing.

Hermione looked to Tonks and Lupin smiling weakly.

"Nice to see you and thanks for your offer again."

She turned and walked toward the front door, closing it behind her and disappearing with a crack. Tonks squeezed Remus' hand. She knew something was up and she also was afraid for Sirius. She didn't want him to end up drinking his night away. Sirius had noticed her squeeze his hand, a simple gesture but one filled with love. Sirius walked back into the kitchen, he didn't want to see them anymore.

"Sirius, do you want to come over for a while?" Tonks soothed, following him in.

Sirius shook his head.

"No Tonks thank you, I'd like to be alone if that's alright."

Remus nodded to Tonks who sighed. Remus walked over to Sirius' side and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"We'll come back tomorrow."

There was a loud pop and Sirius turned to face the overwhelmingly empty kitchen. He

walked over to the familiar cupboard and picked up a small bottle of his strongest firewhiskey. Taking a large drink from it he felt it burn down his throat, closing his eyes. He imagined Hermiones small figure crumpled in his arms and his chest ached.

He took another large swig from the bottle and looked up at the small clock on the wall. It was barely half past eleven. But he didn't care.

He didn't want to be conscious. Not today.

Tonks and Remus arrived in their small home and Tonks looked at him hopefully.

"Promise he's going to be okay." she whispered.

Remus hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head.

"He'll be okay." Remus knew Sirius would be okay to some extent. He knew he would drink his day and most likely his night away but there was nothing they could do. Tonks pulled away from Lupin's embrace.

"I have a feeling Hermione wasn't telling the entire truth."

"Yes I got that too." Remus nodded solemnly.

Both of them sighed. What was there to do for Hermione? No one really knew anything about her boyfriend.

"I just hope she's not in danger."

"Even if she is, I doubt we'll find out."


	4. Chapter 4

**YAY two chapters in one day! Please review. Btw this chapter is kind of graphic and a bit more upsetting than the others just as a warning. And is even sadder than before! Thank you all for reading!**

It was weeks after the incident with Sirius and Hermione hadn't spoken to anyone other than Michael. Michael went out everyday as usual and Hermione sat reading, cleaning, anything just so she wouldn't be tempted to visit any of her friends. Even Michael noticed she barely dressed and seemed almost pleased at his arrival home. It made him suspicious, of what he didn't know but he felt like she was hiding something. Hermione had given up; she knew her life wouldn't change so she wasn't going to fight it. On one particular night Michael had arrived back to the apartment after a usual drinking binge. He knocked on the front door, unable to get in using his wand or a key. Hermione headed over to the door and opened it, stepping back to let him in. Michael stumbled into the kitchen. He looked at her hungrily and pushed her away from the door, slamming it behind him and switching off the lights.

"Well hello 'mione." He mumbled moving over to where she stood against the kitchen counter.

"Couldn't apparate home cause I'd probably be splinched to fuck." He giggled darkly and moved right up to her, his face close to hers. Hermione didn't say anything, she didn't know what to say, she was afraid. Michael smiled cockily and placed his hands on her ribs slowly running them down her body.

"Oh what's wrong Hermione." He rubbed his nose against hers.

"You've been acting all…weird lately." His tone of voice was changing and the smile faded from his face.

"Nothings wrong." she breathed.

Michael pressed his body into hers and her stomach fluttered sickly making her squirm. Michael groaned.

"There _is_ something wrong with you, but when you squirm underneath me it turns me on." Hermione gulped and Michael pressed his lips against hers. When Hermione didn't kiss him back he pulled back and looked into her eyes, a dark scowl on his face.

"Fine. Tell me what's fucking wrong." He tilted his head back.

"Nothing I told you." Hermione whispered.

"Nothing? Well how come you're being fucking stiff?"

Hermione shook her head and grabbed his shoulders pulling him back to her. She pressed her lips hard against his, faking a passionate gesture. He pulled her against him and picked her up. He kissed her back and when Hermione had thought she had bought herself a night without beating he finished the kiss and pulled her off him. She stood before him, simulating a lustful look in her eyes. He smirked evilly at her and pushed her hard onto the ground to her knees. Hermione gasped and gripped the closest thing to her, which were his legs. Michael unzipped his jeans and threw all clothing covering him to the floor, releasing his erection. Hermione felt her stomach drop and her eyes felt hot. Michael grabbed her hair tight and Hermione let out another sharp gasp. Soon she felt him throbbing and she closed her eyes tightly.

Once he was finished he lifted up Hermione, gripping her hard.

"I prefer when you've got no clothes." Michael pulled off Hermiones top and shorts and pressed his hands all along her body before he pushed her back onto the ground. She landed hard against the wall and Michael made his way over to her. He grinded against her, held her wrist and lifted it slamming it against the wall, she wanted to move away but she knew he wouldn't let her. He slid his hand into her underwear and handled her roughly before using her again. Hermione was slammed constantly into the wall. As he built to a climax he held his hand around her neck, choking her. Hermione tilted her head back, trying to breathe. He held her harder, biting her skin but before she was totally unable to breathe, he let her go. Hermione tried to re-capture her breath as Michael panted into her hair. He gripped all around her body creating large bruises. When he was finished he stood and tripped and stumbled to the bedroom. Hermione took long deep breaths before standing and re-dressing. She walked to the couch, lying weakly there. Her entire body ached and she felt a sharp pain in certain areas when she moved, including her neck and sides. Hermione tried to forget the ordeal and willed sleep to take her.

The next day Hermione woke early and went for a walk. She had to leave her apartment, she felt cramped and uneasy. She grabbed her coat and left, half running down the apartment buildings steps. Once she was out in the fresh air, stepping onto the footpath she simply let her feet take her. She walked for what seemed like hours, she didn't care where, just anywhere. She watched the children running around in the park, the parents watching them closely. She wondered what would have happened if she hadn't gotten with Michael, if she had lived her life, where she would be. She thought of her parents, of how if they were alive, how ashamed she would feel in letting them down like this. Hermione thought of everything, she daydreamed of what her life could be like, of her having children and being happily married and working. But that wasn't the destiny for her life. After sitting in a small bench for the duration of the morning she eventually plucked the courage from deep inside her to return to her apartment. She had climbed the seven flights of stairs and as she walked along the corridor towards her apartment she heard voices from inside.

"Don't you dare hurt her again!"

"And who the fuck are you to tell me not to hurt her!"

"I'm her…friend!"

"Oh really cause she hasn't talked to anyone in weeks!"  
>"Probably due to you!"<p>

"Look get out of my fucking apartment before I call someone!"

Hermione gasped in alarm, every horrible realisation sinking in and burst in the door to see Sirius standing against the window, Michael at the other end of the room. Both heads turned to her.

"Sirius look it's okay, you don't have to, he won't hurt me again. He only hit me once, he was drunk and I mean I barely felt it, really it was nothing!"

Sirius stared at Hermione blankly for a moment before whispering

"He _hit_ you?"

Sirius felt anger swirling inside his body; he had never hated one human being so much. He stormed forward towards Michael but Hermione was too quick. She ran forward and stood in front of Sirius her hands resting on his chest. Her hands on him were like a wall, he would not move an inch further if she didn't want him to.

Her hold was firm but her eyes were watery and filed with pain and anxiety.

"Sirius _please_."

Sirius gazed down at her, his own eyes filled with pain.

"Hermione, how many times did he hit you? Tell the truth." He half snapped.

Hermione shook her head.

"It doesn't matter Sirius just – "

Sirius could feel Hermiones frail body against him and it broke his heart. She was being beaten and she was so beautiful and intelligent, she deserved so much better.

"But Hermione it shouldn't be like that – "

"Sirius he would never intentionally hurt me, it was – "

"Hermione." Sirius looked deep into her eyes.

"You can't do this. If you promise he will never lay a hand on you again, that you will be okay and safe. Then I can leave you here with him. But only if you really mean it."

Hermione looked deep in his eyes, masking all fear and sadness.

"Sirius, I promise, it was once. I'll be okay."

Michael stood in the corner of the room with his arms folded, staring at Sirius.

Sirius tried to believe Hermione but he couldn't, he knew now why she was so distraught before, why she came to him. His chest ached and he felt a lump in his throat. He knew Hermione wouldn't tell the truth.

"Okay." He took a step back from Hermione, looking towards Michael and hitting him with a look that would have scared any man.

"I'll see you sometime then Hermione." Hermione nodded, trying to smile.

Sirius disapparated away and Hermione turned to Michael, who was staring at her.

"Michael he's just a friend, and when I walked in I thought he meant – "

"It doesn't matter."

Michael unfolded his arms, walking away into the bedroom.

Hermione took a deep breath, holding back the warm tears.

'_Sirius. Oh Sirius you knew. I know you knew but I will never tell you.' _she thought.

Sirius appeared in his apartment and tearless sobs left his chest. The woman he loved was being beaten maybe to a greater extent than he could think. Sirius slammed the kitchen table making it shiver violently, rocking on its legs. Sirius took a deep breath, holding back the sobs. He wasn't going to let this happen, it had gone far enough. He wasn't going to sit back and do nothing. He would go there tonight and wake her, tell her how he felt and hopefully she felt something, anything just so he could take her away from _him_. Sirius felt a fragment of hope and even if she didn't love him, like him, it was worth trying, if it could save her. Sirius nodded, steadying himself. He checked the clock, it was half twelve, he would have to wait until the night.

It was one am; Sirius was standing in his hallway staring blankly at his front door. He knew all day that he was going to reveal his feelings to her but when it came to it he didn't know what to say.

"Hermione, I love you and if you want I can give you a better – " Sirius shook his head. Everything he could think of sounded strange. He took a calming breath and clenched his hands into fists.

'_You can do this.'_

Sirius arrived with a small pop in Hermione's sitting room. He looked around the dark room, remembering the moment she had placed her hands on him earlier. Then he turned to face the bedroom door, he moved to walk towards it before he heard a small sob coming from the kitchen. Sirius' heart stopped, he swivelled round and frowned at the open kitchen before him. He stepped forward and stood at the entrance of the kitchen peering around. His eyes fell on something he never ever wanted to see. Hermione was curled up in a ball, her back against the wall and she was wearing nothing but a small top and knickers. She was shaking and her head was rested against her knees, her arms wrapped around her middle. Something shattered inside Sirius. There were bruises all along her legs and hand marks of bruises on her shoulders. Sirius walked forward and before kneeling down to her he spoke.

"Hermione." he breathed.

Hermione stopped sobbing and peered up at Sirius, tears running down her face.

"Sirius." Hermione choked, looking away. She didn't want to look into his eyes. Sirius knelt next to her examining her body.

"Hermione, I know he did this to you." Sirius voice broke; more bruises could be seen now that her head was lifted, some on her arms and inner thighs but the most prominent on her neck. More tears were falling down her cheeks, her body shaking more prominently.

"Hermione I'm going to take you away now okay?" Hermione didn't react.

"Hermione I need you to take my arm tightly and we can apparate away."

Hermione shook her head violently. Sirius felt a slash of pain and before he could speak Hermione did.

"I can't." Hermione sobbed harder, taking a sharp breath and tilting her head back against the wall.

"Why?" Sirius really didn't know what to expect.

"I think – " Hermione raised one hand to her forehead, wrapping the other arm farther around her middle to cover the space left. But Sirius could already see, there was blood stained on her small top and it was tight against her skin. "I think he broke a rib."

Sirius felt everything, pain, grief, anger. He wanted to rip Michael apart.

"Okay Hermione I'm going to carry you." Sirius voice was determined.

Hermione hesitated, she didn't want to be touched, but she couldn't stay here. She nodded and tried to slide a little away from the wall.

Sirius put an arm through the bend in her legs and wrapped the other arm around her back, lifting her with hardly any effort. Sirius held her close yet taking extra care not to hurt her. He concentrated, disappearing from the dark kitchen.

Sirius and Hermione landed soundly in Remus and Tonks small sitting room. Sirius looked down at Hermione, making sure she was okay.

"I'm going to sit you on the couch and go wake Remus alright?"

Hermione's eyes were closed. She moved her head, resting it against Sirius chest.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

Sirius' felt his heart expand and bent down, kissing her forehead. He placed her gently onto the couch, asking her if she was okay then hurriedly taking to the stairs and crashing into Remus and Tonks bedroom.

He moved to Remus' side and shook him.

"Remus, Remus you have to wake up."

Remus barely shifted in his sleep, waking instantly.

"Sirius? What's happened?" Remus sat up, turning on the bedside lamp. Tonks didn't stir.

"It's Hermione again...I went to her apartment to tell her but instead I found her and she's a mess Remus. I had to bring her, I couldn't help her on my own." Sirius shook his head despair in his eyes.

Lupin planted a hand on his desperate friends shoulder, nodded and faced his wife, shaking her tenderly.

"Tonks, Tonks…Nymphadora." Tonks squirmed and opened her eyes unenthusiastically.

"What is it Remus?"

"It's Hermione, I'm afraid the worst has happened."

Tonks was sitting instantly.

"Well where is she?" she looked from Remus to Sirius.

"She's downstairs. We think she's broken a rib and she's pretty badly bruised."

Sirius had to step back as Remus tore out of bed, followed by Tonks. Each of them rushed down the stairs. Remus and Tonks reached Hermione's side before Sirius and they're faces reflected what his must have when he had first seen her. Sirius bent down to Hermione, placing a hand on her hand.

"Hermione, Remus is going to try and fix your rib now okay?"

Hermione stared into his eyes and gripped his hand tightly.

"Please stay with me."

"I wouldn't dare leave."

Sirius smiled feebly, stroking her skin with his thumb.

Lupin raised his wand.

"Are you ready Hermione?"

She nodded, gripping Sirius' hand tighter.

"Brackium Emendo."

Hermione let out a small shriek and Sirius raised his other hand, cupping hers inside both of his.

"Is there anything else Hermione?"

Both Sirius and Hermione stared up at Lupin, Hermione a blank expression and Sirius held a deep frown. Remus' eyes were knowing, his gaze intense on Hermione.

Hermione looked at the floor, shaking her head.

"Nothing else is reparable."

Remus sighed and Tonks sat next to Hermione.

"What happened Hermione?"

Hermione lifted her head to Tonks, then to Remus and slowly to Sirius. She sighed, beginning to shake more dominantly.

"Michael just got mad…that's all."

"Hermione this is not getting mad! This is – "

"It's nothing I'm not used to Sirius!" Hermione snapped.

Sirius shook his head. "I does not make this acceptable Hermione." His voice was calm.

"I don't care Sirius, I have no other choice!" Hermione shouted.

"Why Hermione?" asked Tonks.

"Because no one else will ever love me and – "

"He doesn't love you Hermione." Sirius' voice was hard.

Hermione head snapped up to look at him, a glare on her face but her eyes were filled with tears.

"Fine then, he doesn't but that's all that I will ever have Sirius."

"Hermione you can have so much more than this. He doesn't deserve one inch of you, not when he does this to you." Sirius stroked Hermiones collarbone, refering to the dark shadows on her neck.

Hermione shuddered and Sirius pulled his hand back. The was a short silence which Hermione broke with barely a whisper.

"No one will ever truly love me, I'm damaged and broken and nothing can change that."

"I don't believe that." Sirius' eyes were damp, his face was determined and he stared directly into Hermiones beautiful hazel eyes.

Remus moved over to his wife and took her hand, leading her from the sitting room and into the kitchen, closing the door gently behind him.

**CLIFF HANGER! And I won't be writing until next weekend because I have school now and I'm in like a really yectic year so.**


	5. Chapter 5

There was a short silence which Hermione broke with barely a whisper.

"No one will ever truly love me, I'm damaged and broken and nothing can change that."

"I don't believe that." Sirius' eyes were damp, his face was determined and he stared directly into Hermiones beautiful hazel eyes.

Remus moved over to his wife and took her hand, leading her from the sitting room and into the kitchen, closing the door gently behind him.

Sirius sighed, staring intentley into her tear filled eyes. He wiped a stray tear sliding down her cheek.

"Hermione." Sirius began, he was determined, but Hermione interupted.

"Sirius there's no point I know your just saying this because you have to, I'm not going to be loved by – "

"Hermione!" Sirius' face grew grim and he took her hands in his again, his voice breaking.

"I love you."

Hermione's worn eyes burned into his, she didn't know what she wanted.

"Sirius.." she gulped, warm tears rolling prominently down her cheeks.

"Sirius I – " she squeeked.

"Hermione I understand you won't feel the same way, I'm older, I'm probably no good for you. But atleast you know someone can love you, even when you don't love them."

"But Sirius I don't know what I – " Sirius shook his head.

"Hermione please don't say anything unless you know you have feelings for me for sure. I know you seem to love Michael."

Hermione tore her eyes away from his gaze. She was so ashamed of it, she knew it was stupid and everyone thought she was mental but she coldn't help but blame herself for this.

Sirius' heart was ripped between compassion and a deep, burning pain. He loved Hermione, the way she was so distraught made him want to grab her and cradle her. But his chest ached and his throat was blocked, nothing could deminish the fact that his thoughts had been true. She didn't love him and never would.

Sirius stood.

"I'll leave you to yourself, but Hermione I can't promise Michael will get out more than half alive from this situation."

Hermione stood, wincing and grabbing her side.

"No Sirius you – she winced again – you can't please!"

Sirius stepped forward instinctively going to hold her but stopped himself.

"Hermione please sit down."

"No! Sirius you will not go near Michael do you hear me?"

"Hermione I know you love him but – "

"SIRIUS! If you love me you will do this for me."

"The one thing that's hurting you, the one thing that I want to protect you from?"

"Yes."

Sirius shook his head, he could see the desperation in her eyes. He stormed from the room slamming the door and apparating away before Tonks and Remus could even look up to him.

Hermione stayed with Remus and Tonks for a two or three days. She usually just spent her time in the spare bedroom, crying or staring out the window, hoping Sirius would do the noble thing and also hoping he would return. She missed him more than she could admit to herself. Tonks and Remus did what they could, calling her for mealtimes, asking her if there was anything she needed but space was all she seemed to care for. Her injuries were hurting her still but she refused to let Remus examine her. She would have to return to Michael soon, she couldn't just run away, for one she still loved him and secondly he would find her anyway.

Sirius was desperate to return to Hermione, he wanted to make sure she was safe. Instead, as usual, he drank away his miseries. It had been three days now since he had seen Hermione and she had asked him, the man who loves her, not to rip apart the man who was damaging her. Sirius shivered with anger as he took another large swig from the bottle, finishing his elf wine and rolling it from where he sat on the floor to where the other small bottles had accumulated. He gripped his stomach which cramped and squrimed as he took to stand. He stood shakily, balancing against the kitchen counter and concentrating.

"_Sirius!If you love me you will do this for me."_ echoed around his mind, bouncing from wall to wall.

Sirius' stomach cramped once again and he bent over the kitchen sink, the contents of his liquir cupboard potruding from him.

Remus and Tonks were sitting in the warm firelit sitting room. Remus was reading a book, Tonks curled up asleep beneath his arm on the couch. Although he wasn't paying much attention to the words before him. He knew Sirius would be devistated after what happened with Hermione, maybe it was time to see him. Three days could have done a lot of damage. Remus sighed, turning to his wife, her eyes were closed and peaceful. He slowly moved away from her, placing a blanket over her body.

Sirius leant away from the kitchen sink coughing and spluttering. His throat stung and burned and his mouth was sticky and vile. As he began to sink back to the cold ground, a snap came from the corner of the kitchen and Remus appeared.

"Remus." He croaked.

Remus stepped forward, it was worse than he had expected. There was a pungent smell eminating from the sink, Sirius was sitting, he back against the wooden cupboards. His hair was wet and sticking to his sweaty face.

"Sirius, what have you done to yourself." Remus whispered forlorn.

Sirius chuckled darkly "The thing I always do my dear Moony."

Lupin strode over to his dear friend, placing his arms beneath his armpits and lifting him.

"Come on Sirius, let's get you to bed."

"Don't be ridiculous Moony!"

"Hermione wouldn't want this Sirius."

"Don't you emotionally blackmail me too."

"You know it's true."

Sirius grunted, making their towards the stairs.

Remus guided Sirius to his bedroom sitting him on his bed.

"Sirius, your going to get undressed and get into bed alright?"

Sirius replied with another grunt stading shakily and falling into Remus before both turned stark still when a clatter came from the kitchen.

"Fuck!" shouted a deep grumbling voice from downstairs.

Sirius seemed to abandon all drunken headedness as he stormed downstairs, Remus directly behind him.

Sirius strode into the kitchen, switching on the light, growling deeply as he saw the man standing before him.

"_You._" Sirius stormed forward but Remus caught him around the middle.

"Sirius no." Remus looked to the man.

"Who are you?"

"Who the fuck are you!" he replied.

"It's Michael, Remus! It's him! The arsehole who hurt her!"

Sirius struggled against Remus, fighting to rip the man who was so unwelcome in his kitchen apart. But Remus fought harder.

"I suggest you leave." Remus' tone was bitter.

Michael smirked and took a step forward.

"Not until I get my girlfriend."

"You don't deserve any of her!" roared Sirius.

"What and you do?" Michael snapped.

Sirius' paused in his struggle to get to Michael.

"That's not the point, I would never hurt her."

"Not that you'd get the chance."

Sirius broke free from Remus, reaching Michael and grabbing him by the collar.

"Leave now." Sirius hissed.

Michael didn't back down, hesmiled simply.

"Or what?"

Sirius let out a low growl.

"Thought so, you can't touch me because of _her_."

Remus stepped in, pushing each man a foot apart from each other.

"That's enough Sirius."

"Yeah _Sirius_, that's enough. Or your little crush will hate you."

Sirius snarled, images of Hermione's broken rib, her entire body even, the night he found her.

"Your nothing but a coward. Nothing but a fucking coward who does nothing but beat the women who love him just so he can feel like he's barely a man."

Michael's smile faded from his face and with a blink of an eye his wand was raised. Along with Remus'.

"Expelliarmus!"

Michaels wand flew from his hand and landed in to Remus'. Sirius lurched forward, pushing Michael to the ground and punching him in the face. Sirius brought his own wand to Michael's face.

"I could do everything you did to her right now, I could break your ribs, I could torture you – "

"But your not going to!" spat Michael.

Sirius snarled, opening his mouth to cast his spell when a large crack made everyone turn. Tonks was standing in the middle of the kitchen, her eyes widening as she took in the scene around her.

"Sirius!"

"Tonks leave it!"

Sirius turned back to Michael, when a second crack echoed around the kitchen.

Hermione gazed down at the two men and gasped but Sirius hadn't noticed her arrival. Michael looked over grinning evily.

"Ah Mione, how brilliant you could join us."

Hermione shuddered at the use of her 'nickname'. Sirius' head snapped up to look at her, desperation spreading across his face, he didn't know how she would react.

"Sirius!" she shrieked.

Sirius looked to the scum in the floor and then back to her.

"Hermione he – "

Hermione was shaking involentarily.

"Sirius let go of him." she choked.

"But Hermione!"

"Now."

She looked into his eyes and he knew. He knew it wasn't his problem to fix. He knew she had tried, he knew she loved Michael. He would only make things worse. He looked down to Michael, who glared up at him. Releasing him slowly from his grip, Sirius stood, stepping drunkily backwards to stand next to Remus, never taking his eyes off Michael. Michael stood and Sirius lifted his head to look at Hermione. Her head was hung, her fists were clenched and a tear was making its way down her face, dripping on to the floor.

"'Mione lets go home."

Everyone's eyes were on Hermione.

She lifted her head and glanced around the room at each individual. First Tonks beside her, then Michael in front of her, then Remus and finally Sirius. He gazed at her, blinking gently before shaking his head.

Tonks placed a firm hand on Hermione's forearm.

"Hermione your staying with us."

Hermione shook her head at Tonks.

"You know I can't Tonks. I don't have a choice now."

Hermione pulled away from Tonks and strode over to Michael bravely.

"I missed you." He mused.

Hermione nodded giving him a weak smile.

"I missed you too"

Sirius breathing was shaky, in anger and in pain.

Hermione turned to face the rest of the room, standing next to Michael. He gripped her hand tightly, she didn't pull away, leaving her hand limply in his.

"Tonks, tell him for me please." Hermione was fighting to keep her voice even, her eyes landing on Sirius for only a second and then averting back to Tonks.

Tonks nodded.

"Visit us as much as you can."

Hermione nodded and in a second she was gone, along with her boyfriend.

Sirius and Remus turned to Tonks, theyr'e un-asked question lingering in their frowning faces. Tonks was on the edge of tears as she opened her mouth to speak.

"She's pregnant." She whispered.

Tonks began to cry and Remus moved over to her, wrapping a strong arm around her.

Sirius' head was spinning, he crouched, sitting on the floor.

"Tonks." he breathed.

"Why did you let her go? If she tells him, he could kill her."

"There was nothing I could do Sirius."

"There's everything you could do." Sirius cried, he couldn't do this anymore.

"Remus let's go."

Remus made his way to his friends side, holding out a hand to help him up.

"Go where?" asked Tonks.

"To save her once and for all." Sirius wiped a tear from his face and took his friends hand, to stand.

"I have a plan Remus but we need Arthur Weasley."

"Why?" Tonks frowned.

"He works for the Ministry, I'm sending that arse to Askaban."

"Sirius she'll hate you for it!"

"I know Tonks, but it's worth her safety." Sirius sighed.

"Remus you go get Arthur, tell him we need an arrest. Give him the adress and you know what else to do. I'll stay here and wait for you, then we'll make our way over. You know I would do it myself but he won't take me seriously. Please hurry."

Remus nodded disappearing with a snap. Sirius took a sobering breath. He was sobering up slowly but he felt quite numb and had a headache.

"Your'e sure she's pregnant?"

Tonks nodded.

"Atleast nintey percent."

Sirius looked solemnly to the ground, leaning against the kitchen table. Tonks moved over sitting in the chair next to him. She placed a warm hand on his, comforting him gently. Sirius gave her a warm smile. Minutes crawled by like hours but eventually Remus arrived. Sirius stood instantley.

"Everything set?"

"Yes, took some time explaining to Arthur but everythings ready."

Sirius nodded.

"Let's go."

Sirus and Remus landed in the small kitchen of Hermiones apartment. Sirius took another deep breath, remembering the night he had found her sitting limply in the corner. They heard voices from the bedroom and Remus glanced at Sirius.

"Michael what do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me you love me!"

There was a long pause and Sirius prepared himself for the words he knew he would hear.

"No." she whispered.

"NO?"

Michael wasn't the only one surprised.

"No. I don't love you Michael."

"You don't?"

"No." she breathed.

"Fine then, fucking whore. I bet you slept with both those men while you were away didn't you?"

"No Michael, but I did realise I don't love you and I'm no longer afraid of you because you're a coward."

Sirius stepped forward, breaking through their bedroom door. Maybe she wouldn't hate him for Michael's arrest after all, even if she did she needed to be protected. In any cade there was only one way to find out.

"You again." said Michael sarcastically.  
>Sirius smiled proudly.<p>

"Yes me and – "

An array of cracks were heard in the kitchen, distractin him and soon the wizarding police were in the bedroom. Hermione looked around confused.

"Michael, you're going to Askaban, for physical and sexual abuse."

Hermione gasped, her head snapping from Michael to Sirius. Sirius smiled sadly.

"I don't care if you hate me for it, I need to protect you."

The police moved forward grabbing Michael by the arms.

"Get off me! No!"

"There's an anti-apparating charm set here, you won't get away." Said a gruff policeman.

They stormed from the bedroom, popping out of Hermione's small apartment, taking Michael with them.

Sirius watched them leave and turned back to the only person left in the bedroom. He took in Hermione, smiling at her for the last time.

"I hope you have a good life Hermione. I won't bother you anymore."

He swivelled to leave the room and had barely taken two steps when he felt hands on his arms, turning him back. Before he could realise what was going on Hermione's lips were pressed hard against his. He could feel her really kissing him, pressing her body against him. She wanted him and he could feel it, but why? He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly and she tangled her hands in his hair.

He could feel her warm tears on his face and her smile on her lips. He pulled back, still holding her close.

"Hermione don't you hate me?"

Hermione smiled wider than he had ever seen her smile.

"I don't hate you. _I love_ _you_."

Sirius smiled widely and pressed his lips against hers, releasing all his love for her.

"I love you too Hermione Jean Granger."

**One more chapter left just to wrap it up! Hope you enjoyed that one!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Last Chapter: Sorry it took so long! But school leaves me no time during the week. Anyways I was trying to decide between a happy or sad ending and to be honest I just went with the one I was most in the mood for writing. I hope you enjoy this and sorry the ending of the last chapter was a bit rash its just I've kind of run out of inspiration. Thanks so much for the lovely reviews! Also a reply to a review that, Hermione said, "I love you" too fast. Yeah I know haha sorry!**

Sirius sat in the large waiting room of St. Mungos. He rubbed his tired and drooping eyes with his cold hands. It was three in the morning and he had been waiting for a long time now. St. Mungos was cold and airy, and almost entirely empty. A few nurses passed from room to room and the receptionist nurse sat at her desk, often checking her watch and sighing. With every opening click of a door Sirius jerked into complete awareness, only to realise each time that it was not Hermione's healer.

Sirius stood sleepily from the small, uncomfortable chair and strode over to the receptionist.

"I'm sorry to bother you again but do you have any news on how Mrs. Black is doing?"

The receptionist shook her head.

"No I'm sorry I don't know but let me go have a word with the healer and see what I can find out."

Sirius nodded gratefully and the nurse left her seat behind her desk and disappeared down the long hallway. Sirius stood impatiently waiting, remembering the events of only hours earlier.

**Earlier that night.**

Sirius lay contently asleep in bed, his arm draped gently around his wife's growing stomach. She wasn't far along now. At first he didn't wake, when she squirmed next to him, but when her painful cries filled his ears, his eyes opened with a start.

"Sirius, Sirius we need to go, now Sirius." She was whispering quietly, panting and gripping her middle.

Sirius sat up and felt a thick puddle of dampness in the bed where she lay.

"Hermione what happened?" he said, suddenly wide-awake.

"Sirius…hospital." She breathed, unable to speak.

Sirius threw the sheets away from their bodies. In the darkness he could see a small pool of dark liquid that painted the under sheet. His stomach dropped in the familiarity of the sight. Without another word he stood, picked up his wife gently and planted a kiss on her forehead as they apparated away.

**Present.**

The nurse appeared from the bottom of the hallway and began to make her way back to her desk, her every footstep echoing around the halls. Sirius stood waiting and before she had reached the desk, Sirius stepped towards her, closing the space between them. He looked at her apprehensively and she smiled weakly.

"He'll be out to you in just a moment. Take a seat."

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he walked back to his seat.

A few long and draining minutes passed by before finally more footsteps were echoing around the room and Sirius stood to see the tall healer in a white coat walking along the corridor. Sirius gulped. The healer reached the desk, he was holding a clipboard, which he handed to the nurse and muttered something to her that Sirius failed to hear. The healer moved over to where Sirius stood and spoke without smiling.

"Maybe you should take a seat."

Sirius' body was pumping anxiety and fear. He shakily took a seat, gripping the metal armrests.

"I'm afraid your wife has suffered another miscarriage."

Sirius' chest burned and his body felt limp and awkward, as if all the blood had emptied from it. He closed his eyes, rubbing the aching away.

"I'm so sorry."

Sirius sighed shakily, dropping his hand,

"Can I see her?"

"Yes, but she's resting at the moment."

Sirius nodded and the healer stood, Sirius following.

He strode behind the healer, he didn't hear the echoing of their footsteps and he didn't look where he was going. His head was swirling but he was stopped abruptly when the healer turned to a blue door numbered 106. The healer pushed the door ajar and Sirius peered in. His stomach rose into his chest, his emotions tugging on his face, a reflection of despair. His body felt dead and numb, he took a deep breath causing a feeling of heavy moths to flutter up his body. He stepped into the room, his eyes locked on his sleeping wife. Her hair was messy and her face sweaty. The door clicked closed behind him and he dropped into the large chair at her bedside. He softly picked up her warm hand, stroking the soft skin. He stared at his wife, and warm tears slid down his face. He could see the dark bags beneath her eyes, the tire tracks of tears along her pale cheeks and the emptiness that was obvious on her face.

"Oh Hermione." He whispered softly to her.

More tears made their way silently down his cheeks.

"I know how much you wanted this, but this is the third time." His voice choked.

His eyes searched her empty face and he rested his forehead on the bed next to her body.

It had been two and a half years now, since Hermione was pregnant with her abusers baby. She had miscarried within a few weeks of finding out. Sirius knew then that she was going to keep the baby; they were going to raise it together. They got through the first one together and not a year later they married. After four months of marriage Hermione had realised she was pregnant again, this time with her husband's baby. They were overjoyed and took every precaution but after six weeks, Hermione miscarried again. Both of them were devastated and their marriage was slowly being dragged down by the weight of their misery. Sirius made his best effort to make her happy again and was even making progress before she realised she was pregnant again.

"Sirius, I can't face this again." Hermione had said, sitting on the edge of their bed.

He bent down to her and stroked a hand along her neck.

"Hopefully we won't have to."

Sirius sobbed against the hospital sheets for an unnameable amount of time. His heart ached and his body shook. Eventually he fell asleep, leaning against her soft bed from the chair.

The movement of his frail wife awoke him. He heard the scuffling of the thin sheets and raised a heavy head to glance at his wife. Her eyes were half open and she was staring at him.

Sirius looked into her dark and broken eyes.

"Hi love."

"It happened again." She whispered causing his stomach to jerk.

"I know, but we'll be okay. I know we'll be okay."

Tears slid down her cheeks and Sirius slid into the bed, wrapping an arm around her.

She leant her body against his side and he kissed her forehead. She cried against him and he silently wept next to her, their bodies tangled together. But soon she was asleep again. After a while Hermione's healer opened the door and entered.

Sirius raised his head and the healer spoke.

"She will probably be sleeping a lot the next week or two. From shock and the physically draining part of it. Just make sure she's warm and not under too much stress."

Sirius looked down to his sleeping wife.

"I've run some tests and I've discovered the cause of her miscarriages. It seems due to several internal injuries that are irreparable. I'm very sorry to tell you that unfortunately if she wants to keep her health, she cannot become pregnant again."

"Thank you for everything."

The healer nodded and left the room.

Sirius slid lower into the bed and closed his eyes, hoping to sleep. He was slowly drifting away when a knock came from the door and someone entered. He opened his eyes groggily and saw Remus and Tonks standing at the door.

Sirius slowly slid away from Hermione, trying not to wake her. He motioned out and all three of them stepped outside the door.

"Thanks for coming." His voice was thick and hoarse.

"Don't worry about it. How is she?" Remus asked.

Sirius yawned rubbing the side of his face.

"Worse than I've ever seen her."

"Oh Sirius, is there anything we can do?" Tonks moved over and wrapped an arm around her cousins' shoulder.

He shook his head.

"No Tonks, thanks. But maybe in a few weeks you could visit, other wise we might go mad."

Tonks shook her head in agreement.

"Sure Sirius, anything."

Sirius sighed.

"We'll go get you a cup of coffee. Go back into her."

Remus placed a hand on Sirius' back and Sirius smiled weakly.

He walked into Hermione's room and sank back into the large chair. He watched her sleep, his mind and body heavy and drowsy. He closed his eyes, preparing himself for the hard months to come. He knew he could make her happy again, maybe they could adopt. He knew she wanted children and he did too. He wanted to make her happy, to have everything she wished to have. He held her hand in his and gently squeezed it. His eyes opened as she squeezed his hand back, still sleeping. He stared at her and love filled his body. A shower of relief washed over his body. It was going to be okay. They'd make it through together in the end. He was almost sure of it.

**Thank you for following and reading this story!**


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